Becoming a mom is an overwhelming life event that has many, many rewards but many moms feel like they lose a piece of their former themselves in the process. You are not alone. Losing oneself in motherhood can be scary. It can feel like you will never see the old you again. We have spoken to many mimijumi moms and here are a few tips for staying connected to your former self while embracing your new role as mother.
Start journaling. Even if you’ve never been the journaling type of person, writing down your goals and dreams
can have immense benefits. Having a channel to brain dump and uncap your emotions will help you visualize what’s going on in your head and really help you achieve a sense of collectedness. Sitting down at the end of the day and writing for fifteen minutes with a warm cup of tea by your side is one of the simplest de-stressors anyone can do.
I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.
- Anne Frank
Learn to say No. We all want to be “Super Mom” but that can end up hurting us more than helping us. By saying "yes" to every problem, event or task thrown at us, we create an ever-longer To-do List and the pressure and stress can mount. Saying no is a healthy and normal thing that will allow us to focus on the really important tasks we identified through our journaling. It may be uncomfortable to say "No" , but it’s oh so necessary to our well-being. Additionally, we all multitask but it's a terrible idea. Multitasking is bad for your brain and body. Only take on what you reasonably can handle and decline the rest.
Get dressed and go out. Sweatpants and a messy bun may be your regular uniform these days, but we all know that it’s not doing much for your self-confidence. Book a babysitter for the night, put on some makeup and a pretty outfit, and go out! Whether it be a girls' night or a date night with your man, you will feel like a new woman after having a little fun. You will thank yourself for letting loose a bit. Just enjoy being in the moment for a change because you deserve it (just as much as you deserve that second glass of wine)! Surround yourself with the people that will support and celebrate that you taking care of yourself.
Mom "Me Time": Recognize you are important too. Having a child can make you think you need to put yourself aside in order to put your baby first. This is not the case. You are just as important and need to realize that you deserve some self-attention as well. You can only take care of someone else well if you take care of yourself first. Having some "Me Time" will help you appreciate and savor your time with your child that much more and you'll be calmer and more attentive as a result. So, pass baby off to dad, run a bath, and evaluate what it is that YOU want for once.
Every mommy occasionally feels self-doubt about if they are doing a good job and they feel incredibly guilty for taking any time for themselves. Don’t. You deserve some “you time” to just be in the moment and figure out how you’re feeling and where you’re going in life. So, go for a walk, go to that movie you've been wanting to see, or raise that glass of wine and remind yourself you are an amazing woman who doing great things and raising a child the best way you can. Be confident, mama!